Mental Health Awareness.

Hi, my dear readers.

I wanted to take a moment to say that’s it’s okay to: not be okay, to be okay, not be fine, and to be fine.

You’re not alone when tiny things trigger intense emotional reactions. And, these reactions feel like an emotional overload where stress, anxiety, fear and sadness spill over each other.

You’re not alone when you feel unproductive or idle.

You’re not alone when you know you’re emotions are overwhelming you.

You’re not alone when you feel like crying, then apologizing for having them.

You’re not alone when you feel stupid for feeling certain emotions.

You’re not alone when you feel like you’ve wasted the day doing nothing.

You’re not alone when you struggle with attempting to have structure in your life.

You’re not alone when you feel like speaking to no one then to everyone.

You’re not alone when you’re surrounded by your loved ones but feel very lonely.

You’re not alone.

Quarantine has tested me more than I thought it would. Emotionally and mentally, I’ve felt beaten down to the point where I almost feel nothing. Yet, somedays, I feel overwhelmed by everything.

I know staying home saves lives. I know what I am doing – wear the mask and practice social distancing – has a large effect. But, I still feel unproductive which makes me feel down.

No “9 to 5” job, no school work, no studying, no volunteer work. Just simply staying in my parents home where I feel like a stranger; where I feel cautious about everything I say or do.

Being idle is never ideal. When we aren’t fulfilling our purpose, or even being challenged, we aren’t living our best lives.

Creating structure is very challenging. These are very difficult first steps that are hard to maintain. Many days, I have no motivation to read a book, exercise, or even a binge show.

I’ve gotten back to taking care of my mental health: taking deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed; making to do lists before bed; reading before bed; contacting my friends; and walking my dogs. But, more importantly, finding the root cause of all the feelings.

My dear readers, you’re not alone. It’s okay that you’re not okay, because I am not too. None of this is easy for anyone (maybe extremely rich people are okay, but who knows). I wish I had more encouraging words other than I am trying to be better.

That’s all for now.

Me with my dogs, Ruger and Sheru

Published by Nikita Srivastava

a passionate feminist and social justice warrior who occasionally calls herself a goddess. She received her JD in 2019 and became licensed to practice law in 2020.

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