Nothing falls into place, you have to work constantly.

In mid-April I found out that I would be moving to Alamosa, Colorado. And, I was expected to start working in June. (Oh boy.) I felt overwhelmed with joy then consumed with anxiety.

My sister said being an adult is basically “taking huge leaps of faith then not knowing if it was the right decision.” Naturally, this stressed me out even more. I’d always had a clear vision of where I am supposed to be. From college to law school, I knew exactly what to expect from each decision. Luckily, my family continuously gave me a fall back – coming home.

I am not going to let you assume that I’ve been raised like a princess. Instead, I am telling you that I was raised like a princess. Although it sounds nice, I’ve felt overwhelmingly underprepared for adulthood. This leads me to second-guess every decision I make, which, of course, makes me anxious. Did I make the right decision to rent this apartment? Is it a good idea to take both dogs? Will the drive with the dogs go well? Will my older dog adjust to the altitude okay? Should have I bought a house with my parents? And, no matter how many answers or opinions I get saying everything will be fine, I still have trouble sleeping. Then, I don’t eat as much even when I’m feeling hungry. I wake up in the middle night sweating then googling articles about moving your dogs across the country. However, every time I get up, I feel hungry. I never eat though. (I’ll suck it up until the morning.) Occasionally, I’ll get a zit on my forehead that feels like a throbbing headache. (Okay, that might have been too much information.)

Surely I am not the only one who has felt this way? Everyone has some point felt this level of stress. It probably doesn’t help that we are in the middle of a pandemic. Surviving the next few weeks before my move may be my personal hell, but I am determined to make this a positive experience.

It’s a new adventure. You will be a badass attorney. You will eat more food before bed. You will exercise more often. Then, you will tackle one task at a time. With this wonderful leap of faith, you will be stronger.

Life will always have many hurdles. Some years, they will be few and in-between. Other years, they will be back-to-back. How we handle our stress defines how we choose to see a huge leap of faith.

That’s all for now. Stay tuned.

Published by Nikita Srivastava

a passionate feminist and social justice warrior who occasionally calls herself a goddess. She received her JD in 2019 and became licensed to practice law in 2020.

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1 Comment

  1. Another great post! Reminds me of moving across the country with just 2 cars of stuff, my now hubby, and my dog with no job and no place waiting on the other end. Looking back, it was a huge leap of faith, but it was where we were supposed to be. Its been almost 2 years and we now are in a house big enough to care for my father-in-law who recently had a stroke and have steady income. Even still, my husband and I are both looking into our own startup companies! We basically don’t stop taking leaps of faith. But I do think eventually you know if it was the right decision because either a) you go back on your decision because you failed (and that’s okay!) Or b) something happens which is amazing and you wouldn’t change a single detail of your past because of the amazing thing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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